Bonding Tips for Baby and Siblings

Welcoming a new bundle of joy into the family is a wonderful and exciting experience. You’ve waited nine long months, and now you finally get to meet your precious baby. To you, it probably seems that your newest little one is the perfect addition. However, siblings may not see it quite the same way. 

Children of all ages thrive on routine. Your family’s established relationships and the dynamics within your household play into that routine. When you introduce a new member, other children may feel like things have turned upside down. It’s entirely normal for a little frustration to set in. You’ll have your hands full with your newborn, and your other child might feel a bit left out.

But not to worry! There are lots of ways to help siblings feel included and important throughout this transition. With each passing month, your kiddos will settle into their roles and develop deeper bonds with each other. It’s a joy to watch! Here are a few tips to encourage those sweet bonds:

5 Tips to Encourage Sibling Bonding with Your Newborn

Newborns require a LOT of attention and a LOT of holding. As you’re feeding or rocking the baby, ask your other child to sit with you so they can feel your love and attention, too. This is a great time to tell stories, read books, or simply talk together. If you’re able, hold your other child’s hand and make sure to look her in the eyes now and then. Let your other child know that you see her, too.

It’s easy to forget the simple things when you are exhausted and trying to adjust yourself. When your older child doesn’t feel like she has to compete for your attention, she’ll be more willing to “get to know” her baby brother or sister. The first step toward their bonding is preventing resentment.

Include older siblings by asking them to help you. Even toddlers often enjoy retrieving pacifiers and bringing diapers or wipes. Ask your older one to clean the baby’s face or hands gently or help with other interactive tasks. Make him feel important and needed by helping you choose. Ask, “Which blanket do you think your brother will like better? Can you bring it to him?” Or, “Can you pick out an outfit for your sister today?” Involve your older child as often as possible and encourage him to chat with his new sibling while he’s at it.

 Most infants aren’t big on tummy time. But you can make it fun for your baby and older siblings by turning it into family bonding time. Get on the floor and face the baby together. Make silly faces, sing songs, or have the older sibling show the baby how each toy works. Interaction is great for infant development, and it will help your older child learn to communicate with her baby brother or sister. Eventually, you’ll get that first smile, giggle, or coo, and most siblings are just as excited about that moment as you are. It’s so much fun to include them in it!

 Depending on your older child’s age, you may experience some acting out, tantrums, or tears. That’s normal. Take time to sit down one-on-one with your older child and listen to his troubles. It’s ok to let him know that his behavior was inappropriate while acknowledging his feelings and help your child work through those hard emotions. Explain to your child that he will have to share Mom and Dad, but you love spending time with both of them. Ask your older child what activities you can do together to help him or her not feel so left out.

 If you have a toddler or preschooler, she may have fun “dressing like twins” with her new brother or sister. Ask her to help you plan a little photoshoot together (and you can catch some individual monthly milestone shots of your baby while you’re at it). Let the older child help you plan with some baby-safe props like stuffed animals or cute blankets. Don’t forget to take individual shots of your older child, too! 

Afterward, print out the pictures from the photoshoot. Depending on age, your older child can keep a small photo album to look through; or you can have the older child design a scrapbook featuring all of the adorable sibling photos.